12 10 / 2012

So I’ve been thinking about something that was left unsaid. And what I’ve (so slowly) come to realize is that she didn’t owe it to me or anyone else to talk about it. Although I still wish that it had been said when it could have changed things, it doesn’t change the way it went down or the way it was for years. And it’s selfish and unrealistic to pretend it could have been any other way, as it was her decision when or if to say anything at all. It’s so strange because I have defended others for not saying anything but when it comes to your family not saying it to you it seems more clear cut and it’s not. It’s not. It’s dangerous to talk about it. It can ruin your life even now, especially now, but even more so during her formative years. I can understand it and no one owes anyone else the whole truth of their lives all the time. I’m glad that I took the time to think about it. I’ve been struggling with it for the past month or so but it’s true. I’m still figuring it out but I feel like I’m on more even ground now.